Romanesque Burgers

Romanesque Burgers!

So, this was an interesting situation.  As I was working more and more on Roman food, I stumbled across thermopolia, which were ancient Roman "fast food" joints.  Doing a little more research brought me to THIS website, which I shamelessly stole from.  As such, I will not be including the recipe to the burgers here.  Go get it from Avrila!


However, my judges were a little less daring than I am, and as such I needed to make the recipe a little more modern.  I didn't mess with the burgers at all--I even made another batch of liquamen for it--but I did add some black garlic aioli, mushroom ketchup, and fig paste, then served it all on toasted sourdough bread.


I won the cooking contest with a very high score and some GREAT feedback from the judges, so it must have gone over pretty well.


Historical Accuracy:  I haven't seen Avrila's recipes listed anywhere else, but she seems fairly knowledgeable.  Call it a 7/10 for a shot in the dark.


How's it Taste?  Strange.  The flavor seems to shift around on you.  Some bites you get a LOT of the mustard or pepper.  Other times, the juniper comes in strong.  But it's darned good.


Ingredients:  No.  Go see Avrila's Website for the recipe.  However, let's talk condiments!

Mushroom Ketchup

Mushroom ketchup tastes like Worcestershire sauce and is thick like A-1.  I love this stuff.  It dates back from before tomatoes were introduced in Europe and is a big part of American colonial cuisine.


Mushroom Ketchup
2 pounds fresh mushrooms
2 tablespoons kosher or sea salt
2 bay leaves
1 large onion, chopped
zest of 1 lemon
1 tablespoon grated horseradish
1/4 teaspoon ground clove
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
 1 shallot, minced
1/2 cup cider vinegar


Wipe the mushrooms clean and chop.  Toss with the salt and bay leaves in a non-reactive bowl.  Cover and let sit overnight.  The mushrooms will have given off a LOT of water.  Transfer to a dutch oven and add all the other ingredients, cooking for 30 minutes or longer.  Allow the mixture to cool and puree.

Black Garlic Aioli

Black garlic is somewhat difficult to find.  It's fermented under low heat for a several weeks and has a funky, French onion soup-like flavor.  There are plenty of guides online on how to make it, but the easiest way is to take a bulb of garlic, wrap it in plastic wrap, wrap THAT in two layers of aluminum foil, and pop it in your dehydrator for three weeks.  Easy, right?   Your whole place will smell like an Italian kitchen, which is just a bonus.


Black Garlic Aioli
3  cloves aged black garlic, minced
Pinch of  kosher salt
1  egg yolk
1 1/2  teaspoon  lemon juice
1/4  cup  extra-virgin olive oil


Crush the garlic and salt together to make a paste.  Whisk the lemon juice and yolk together and put into a food processor.  Slowly mix the oil in to incorporate, then pulse in the black garlic paste.

Fig Paste

This couldn't be easier, and it's very historically accurate.  Just take your figs, some water, and some honey and blend them into a smooth paste.  Ta da!


Obligatory Patreon Link:  Click HERE if you're a sucker.  If you aren't a sucker, just keep reading!

Horsebread!

Horsebread!

Looks a lot like the hardtack, doesn't it?  That's intentional.


I made up a batch of hardtack for my buddies, who were heading to a big LARP event. As I was cooking, I was reminded of something I read about in Terry Pratchett's Monstrous Regiment.  After doing some research, I found out that horsebread was, in fact, a thing.


Horsebread was made primarily from legumes instead of grains and was considered a lower-class food, typically eaten by (you guessed it) horses, although in times of famine, people would consume it as well.  I took this concept and applied it to the hardtack, making...  Horsetack, I guess?


This recipe used three quarters vegetables to provide fiber and nutrition, with a little flour for empty calories.  I also added some schmaltz because, well, why not?


Historical Accuracy:  This is somewhat fantasy and somewhat an interpretation of a historical thing.  Give it a 4/10 and you're probably generous.

How's it Taste?  Do you like peas?  Because the pea flavor is seriously pronounced here.  That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's very prominent.  Also, the flour was initially green when rolled, but turned brown in the oven.

Difficulty:  This one is more tough than its predecessor.  You need a food dehydrator and a blender or food processor.  Otherwise, it's exactly the same.  3/10.


Ingredients


3 cups vegetable meal (see recipe below)
1 cup unbleached whole-wheat flour
1 cup water
1 tbsp. salt
1 tbsp. schmaltz (or lard)


Mix all ingredients, knead, roll to 1/4" thick.  Cut into rectangles and pierce with skewers.  Bake at 400 degrees for 15-25 minutes a side, turning once.


Vegetable Flour
2 pounds dried split green peas
2 pounds carrot chips
1 large onion
1 bulb garlic
1 large beet
1 bunch kale


Dehydrate all ingredients and blend into a powder, mixing well.


Obligatory Patreon Link:  Click HERE if you're a sucker.  If you aren't a sucker, just keep reading!

Hardtack!

Hardtack!

Sorry.  I keep meaning to update this thing, and I keep postponing it.  But here we go.  The breakfast of champions--hardtack!

Hardtack, at its most basic, is a simple cracked made from flour and water and a pinch of salt.  It is rolled thing and baked hard and, so long as it does not get wet, it will keep for a VERY long time.  It is near-inedible and makes a wonderful shim or backup armor, but not so much a great breakfast.

If you soak it in milk or tea and fry it in pork fat, the flavor is improved tremendously.  You can also add various seeds and maybe some lard or schmaltz to improve the flavor.  A little honey helps as well.  Experiment here!

Historical Accuracy:  This is hardtack.  The only way it could be more historically accurate is if I used worse quality flour for the recipe. Call it a 10/10 and be happy.


What's it Taste Like?  Flour.  Really, it's bland and dry and horrible all on its own.  I added some caraway and celery seed to another batch, plus some schmaltz and honey, and it was better, but still bad.  This is survival food.  This is "trail" food.  Want to feel like a soldier on a march?  Have some tea, hardtack, and salt pork for breakfast.


Difficulty:  Nil.  You mix, roll, cut, piece, and bake.  Super-simple.  1/10.

Ingredients:4 cups flour (any type, although I used a mix of unbleached whole-grain wheat and leftover spelt)
1 cup water
1 tbsp. salt
Seasonings to taste


Mix it all up and knead it a bit to combine.  Roll out 1/4" thick and cut into rectangles.  Using a skewer, poke holes into the hardtack to allow it to bake hard.  Bake at 400 degrees for 20-30 minutes a side, turning once.  Once it feels like a brick, it's done!

Obligatory Patreon Link:  Click HERE if you're a sucker.  If you aren't a sucker, just keep reading!