Sima!

Sima!

Trying something a little new in taking pictures.  Not the best in the world, but I'm using a potato.  Bear with me!

Sima is Finnish for mead (anyone who speaks Finnish, correct me if I'm wrong).  Over the years, sima has changed drastically.  Now, the typical "traditional" recipe uses no honey whatsoever, replacing it with white and brown sugar.  I personally think that's a travesty, and so I fixed that!

This beverage is traditional around May Day.  It's very, very lightly alcoholic (0.5%, typically) and lightly carbonated.  While traditionally flavored with rhubarb, lemons have become the standard of late.  Frankly, I prefer a nice honey/brown sugar lemonade to anything with rhubarb in it, so I stuck with the lemons.

I should note that I am making this for a brewing contest.  I'll let you guys know how I did!

Historical Accuracy:  Mead is always historically accurate.  Mead flavored with brown sugar and lemons?  Not so much.  If made with rhubarb and pure honey, I would go ahead and give Sima an 8/10 for accuracy.  The way I made it, I'll call it a 5/10.

How's It Taste?  Bringing this bit back.  Guys, seriously, this stuff is good.  It tastes like sweet lemonade with just a tiny little hint of alcohol.  This is the sort of thing you really want for a hot day of yardwork, or swinging sticks at nerds.

Difficulty:  Hey, why not bring this back too!  "Modern" sima can be made with things that you are likely to already have and is usually ready in like 3-5 days.  A fancier recipe needs just a modicum of brewing equipment and is likewise ready extremely quickly.  Modern sima is a beginner's brew, a 2/10 in difficult.  Fancy sima?  Call it a 5/10 because of the equipment involved.

Recipe:
(Modern Sima)
1 cup white sugar
1 cup light brown sugar
1 gallon water
2 large lemons (or 4 small)
1 package baker's yeast

(Hardware)
Mason jars, STERILIZED

Combine water and sugars in a pan.  Heat until dissolved.  Take the zest and juice of the lemons and let steep in the syrup.  Allow to cool, then add the yeast.  Transfer liquid into mason jars.  Allow to sit for 1-2 days, venting occasionally) then refrigerate for 1-2 days.  Enjoy.

(Fancy Sima)
1 cup honey
1 cup dark brown sugar
1 gallon water
2 large lemons (or 4 small)
1 package champagne yeast

(Hardware)
1 gallon carboy with airlock
9-12 bottles, with caps
1/8 tsp. sugar per bottle
Funnel
STERILIZE ALL OF THIS (Except the sugar.  Sterilizing sugar is difficult.)

Combine honey, sugar, and water with the zest of the lemons.  Heat until honey and sugar is dissolved.  Add lemon pulp (not pith) and allow to cool.  Strain into a carboy, then add the yeast and allow to ferment for 1-3 days.  After primary fermentation, add sugar to each bottle and fill with sima.  Let sit for 1-2 days, then refrigerate.  Drink.  Yum.

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Lembas Bread!

Lembas Bread!

So, it was suggested that I try to make lembas.  I'm not a fan of Elves by any stretch of the imagination, but hey, why not?  How hard could it be?

Turns out, it's a little tougher than it looks.  You see, there are LOTS of recipes for "lembas" out there, and they all vary considerably.  This is to be expected--different people value different things in their desires and expectations and the like.  For me, I wanted to create something that was very energy-dense while still being tasty.

Did I succeed?  Eh, partially.  I'll come back to this recipe before too long and make a few changes.  Thing is, what I made was essentially a nutty pie crust (which I knew going in), and I HATE pie crust.  That's why cobbler is better than pie--it only has one layer of crust.  And really, who needs the crust at all?  It doesn't do anything.

But whatever.  This is very rich, very energy-heavy, and very dry.  Eat with some tea for dunking.

Historical Accuracy:  Heh.  Nope.  This is pure fantasy and uses a number of non-period and/or New World ingredients.  Fantasy lets me explain things however I want, dang it!

Recipe: 
1 1/2 cups unbleached flour
1/2 cup garbanzo bean flour
3/4 cup butter
1/2 cup honey
2 tbsp. almond butter
1 tbsp. peanut butter
1 tbsp. coconut oil
pinch of salt

Mix all ingredients--add more flour if still sticky.  Knead for 10-15 minutes until smooth.  Roll out on a floured countertop to 1/4" thickness.  Cut into squares and score with a knife.  Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes until golden brown.  Please note:  the nut butter will make for a darker brown, so be careful!

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Bread Pudding!

Bread Pudding!

Note:  I REALLY need to find a better way of taking food photography.  If you have any ideas, please, let me know!

This is my standard go-to dessert for potlucks and family gatherings and the like.  It gets requested...  Often.  Excessively often sometimes.  In fact, this recipe is, to my knowledge, entirely of my own design.  As such, I'm not entirely certain about measurements and the like, as I make this by taste and "look."  I'll try my best!

Please note:  This recipe has never been shared with anyone ever.  This bread pudding uses Granny Smith apples for flavor and has a sauce made with hard cider that is absolutely to die for.  This isn't good for you by any stretch of the imagination, but any time I make it, it disappears in a hurry.

Historical Accuracy:  Bread pudding stems back to the 11th century.  Sure, commercial hard cider doesn't go that far back, but hard cider dates all the way back to the Romans.  So, while this isn't by any stretch a historical recipe, nothing I make is coming from a historical cookbook.  I'm going to give my bread pudding a 5/10 for accuracy.

How Does it Taste?  Seriously, this stuff is good.  It's delicious and sharp and sweet and everything you love about bread pudding.  If you don't love bread pudding, give it a try anyway.  If you hate bread pudding and apples, well, you won't like this.

Recipe:  (Approximation!)
(Pudding)
12 stale sandwich rolls or 2 stale loaves of bread (I tend to use bollilos at HEB for my bread needs--cheap and easy and they have white and whole-grain)
6 Granny Smith apples
4 cups heavy whipping cream
4 eggs
1 cup dark brown sugar
4 tsps. cinnamon

(Hard cider sauce)
1 bottle of hard cider (Woodchuck's Summer Seasonal works really well here)
1 cup sugar
6 egg yolks

Dice the bread into 1" chunks.  Dice the apples into smaller pieces.  Toss them together.  Mix the cream, brown sugar, eggs, and cinnamon, then scald, stirring regularly.  Combine the dry and wet ingredients in a baking dish and allow to soak, refrigerated, for at least one hour.  Bake at 350 for about 45-60 minutes, or until top is lightly browned.

Mix yolks and sugar in a double-boiler.  Add cider and whisk constantly while heating.  Mixture will become foamy and then "break down" into a sauce.  Pour said sauce over bread pudding and allow to rest.  Serve warm.

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Pork Pies!

Pork Pies!

Wow.  It's been a while since I've updated this blog.  Sorry!  I'm still around--I've just been busy.

So, these were made for a contest.  They went over fairly well, and I'm fair-to-middling pleased with them.  I plan on updating the recipe a bit and trying again over the course of next week.  I'll let you know how it goes!

Historical Accuracy:  Pork pies were served to King Richard and the first recorded recipe comes from 1390.  In that case, I find that we can consider these entirely period-appropriate (for a late period, sure, but still).  Plus, they have been mentioned in Discworld (Sourcery) and countless other fantasy works.  I'll give it an 8/10 for accuracy.

How Does it Taste?  Pork is love.  Pork is life.  This is an interesting case of what is basically a tureen made of diced pork and bacon in gelatin surrounded by a thick hot-water crust.  I personally feel that mustard and onion chutney are required additions, but your mileage may vary.

Recipe: 
(filling)
1 pound diced pork shoulder
1 pound diced bacon
2 tsp sage

(pastry)
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup lard or bacon fat (I used bacon fat)
1 cup hot water (you may need more)
1 tbsp. salt
Egg wash for brushing.

(jelly)
4 cups chicken or pork stock
4 packages gelatine

Okay, I'm going to try not to insult you too much.  Here's what you do.

Mix the pie crust up.  Roll it into a ball, compress into a disc, and refrigerate at least an hour.  Mix all the filling material.  Line loaf pans with parchment paper.  Roll out the crust and line the pans, then fill with pork mixture.  Add an upper crust and crimp.  Make holes in the top for the venting of steam.  Brush the top with an egg wash.  Bake at 350 for an hour or until golden brown.

Combine the stock and gelatine and reduce until slightly thickened.  Use a funnel and pour the jelly into the vent holes.  Let cool and refrigerate overnight before serving with mustard and onion jelly (recipe to follow somewhat later).

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